This week’s question is about an article I wrote a few weeks ago. The reader noticed a subject that I didn’t expand on too deeply but was rather important.
I don’t know how you could say it’s possible for anyone to enjoy school without going into any details. I absolutely hate going to school. I feel it in my stomach every morning. What are these steps I need to go through to enjoy it?
-James
You’re definitely right. I should have probably gone into some detail. I hesitate to say there are particular steps you can go through to solve this problem but it’s a problem that I’ve solved for myself and I have helped other people solve. I believe it is possible for anyone but as I’m sure you can imagine, that’s not a scientific claim.
I used to get bullied through school. I got that sickness in my stomach every morning. I missed tons of school pretending to be sick. I had major emotional issues going on. Even after the bullying stopped I got sick thinking about school. There was definitely no one day when I finally solved my school hatred problem but eventually I was able to get some sort of perspective on it.
I think it’s a very personal problem that I can only help other people so much with but I think you should start by asking yourself why you’re going to school in the first place. If you’re not old enough to drop out then you might say because I’m being forced to but I doubt they chain you to your desk. (If they do then perhaps my claim was wrong.) If you’re old enough to drop out then you’d probably say something like “it’s way harder to succeed without going.”
I have serious doubts about the efficacy of a high school education but the world most of us live in requires this as a prerequisite to almost anything interacting with the rest of the world. In fact, many people believe you need a college degree too. Statistically, those claims are pretty well backed up. (I’d say they’re more about motivated people going to college than college people getting farther ahead though.)
If you’re going to school then you have some reason. That reason may just be fear of not going. Well… that’s still a reason to be there. You do still have the choice. Never lose sight of that choice. You never have to take it but you need to know that choice is there. You being at that school is your decision.
So… if you decide to be there then it makes it a whole lot easier to find reasons to enjoy it. You can look at the reasons you made that choice and focus on them. Maybe you can tell yourself “you can’t get fired from school.” Maybe you can say, “I’m not too young for all the hot people here.” Maybe you can say, “at least I’m learning how to not be a fry cook.” All of these aren’t necessarily 100% true but they are all things that you can think to improve your situation.
The truth is, you won’t suddenly enjoy school one day. It will take time. Once school becomes a choice that you make everyday, it becomes a whole lot easier to justify to yourself. Soon you might just hate it a little less. Eventually, you might even start to find reasons to like it.
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I agree with Caley – that’s exactly how I thought about school. Trying to find something good about it was an terrible idea, because there was nothing. Being reminded that the only reason why you’re going to the place of your nightmares is because everything’s gonna be even worse if you don’t is not very helpful… at least it wasn’t to me. The important thing was to never forget that school’s gonna end someday, that it’s just a stepping stone and you don’t have to force yourself to enjoy it. There’s more to life than school.
I think I prefer to think of school as a temporary evil. Sure… it sucks now but… someday it should pay off.